I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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