ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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