Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
