After last night, I could never be a politician.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
