I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
