uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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