Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
