I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
