My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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