hotel room ftw
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
