Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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