I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
