I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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