Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
