Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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