thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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