I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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