you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
