Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Someone came in the potted fern
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
