I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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