Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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