My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
