apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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