I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
