he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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