big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
