Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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