I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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