Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize