break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
