So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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