Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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