so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
