Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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