Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
