Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
