Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
