It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
