Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
