You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
