I don't usually arrange sex via text message
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
