Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
be right there i have to get my cape
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
