Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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