I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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