Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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