We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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