is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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