Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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