Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
