WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize