he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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