you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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