he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
