Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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