Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize