you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
