She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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