if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
