Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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