I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
