So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize