at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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