Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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