Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize